Internet Dating With Integrity: Are You Guilty of Lying in Your Singles Website Dating Profile?

Now that we are fully in the Facebook Age and the Internet Dating Matchmaking Industry is a mature business well out of the early start up stage of the early days of cyberspace and web dating, a whole host of issues now face singles seeking love online.

Integrity in Dating can cover anything from the topics of not overtly lying in your profile in such areas as your age. But Integrity in Dating also includes actively and concertedly misleading other singles looking for love and reading your dating profile.

Now mind you, I have a corporate professional background in Sales and Marketing from San Francisco and Silicon Valley, the land that brought us HP, Steve Jobs, Apple, and The Woz. This is the land which coined the phrase, “Vaperware,” for the software that SV Sales People would sell to corporate businesses before the software engineers had even designed and developed it. So with that as the environment that spawned my professional formation, I’d like to say that I am fine about people taking a favorable view of themselves and extolling their virtues in your internet dating profile. I do not expect nor remotely recommend that you reveal your warts. I describe to singles attending my live singles seminars that your internet personals ads can portray you in your most favorable light. However I am specific that looking your best is one thing. Overtly lying is a whole other thing.

So what is lying and what is not lying? In this dating article today I’ll be covering more of the inadvertent miscommunication that results in your unintentionally being guilty of lying in your internet personals ad profile.

During the live dating workshops these sort of war stories from the trenches of computer dating in the 21st century.

  • What about the ones who say they are physically fit?
  • How active do you have to be for the singles who say they want someone who is active?
  • How active is active?
  • Oh right they work out 6 days a week? What are they, an Olympic Athlete?
  • Why do they put they like hiking but they don’t even own a pair of hiking boots?

A number of phrases have surfaced which you will see in contemporary internet personal ad profiles.

Active Lifestyle

  • Physically Fit
  • Young-Looking
  • Young-at-Heart
  • Energetic
  • Vitality

In the past, when singles wanted to communicate that they wanted someone who was slim, trim, and quite fit they would say things like, “Height weight proportional.” Now “Active Lifestyle” and “Physically Fit” are the catch phrases. So just bear that in mind when you read those phrases in another’s profile. And do be a bit careful when you consider using them in your own profile. Often it is the singles who are over 45, 50, and 55 years old who are striving to communicate that they are good looking and live an active and engaged life so that you know they are not couch potatoes living a sedentary life.

There really are quite a variety of ways to communicate that in your profile. What I recommend to singles to do is to actually talk about what they really do with their time, their evenings, their weekends.

Hiking:

OK, apparently every single out there online from the age of 19 -119 years old is a hiker who likes hiking. Who doesn’t like hiking? Many singles at the dating sites, they aren’t meaning it to be overtly lying. They really do think of themselves as liking hiking. But when was the last time you’ve been on any kind of a hiking trail? And what do you really mean by hiking?

Where I grew up in the Northeast hiking to us were outdoor nature walks in the woods. Think Herrontown Woods in Princeton Township, Mercer County, New Jersey. Hey, we simply didn’t even know or live near anything resembling a mountain or any serious elevation.

Then there are the hills of San Francisco, and the mountainous areas of Northern California and hiking trails with actual elevation, Angel Island, and “switchbacks” of the Los Altos Foothills Trails near Palo Alto on the San Francisco Peninsula.

There are differences. And it’s not that you were specifically meaning to mislead your Prospect Date. It’s just they are quite fit, hike for half day and full day hikes at an intermediate to advanced level and you were just wanting to get back to taking walks in nature this time with someone because you really do enjoy the outdoors.

These are the kind of things you can position in your dating profile by saying something like, “I used to really love walking in the woods trails where I grew up and want to get back to that. Do you enjoy hiking? I’m not a moutaineer, mind you, but a hike and lunch on a Saturday afternoon would be fun.”

Notice how you kind of set the parameter of expectations. You establish boundaries of the kind of hiker you are. Interested and enjoy it. Want to get back to it. Don’t expect me to be able to keep up with you quite yet for half day hikes or full weekend outdoors adventures. This way you both manage expectations and avoid overtly lying to your Prospective Date.

The Phenomena of Hiking in an Internet Dating Profile:

It’s a residual from the early days of online dating profiles was that the matching feature which feeds singles “Possible Matches for You” do so based on the database of who you are. All the characteristics, interests, hobbies, activities, and personal attributes which you clicked off in all the check boxes and pull down menus contribute to the data file of YOU. Those are stored in a database. Then the Internet Matchmaking Websites sort and filter the data to offer you potential matches based on your interests.

So from the early days of internet dating, singles learned the tactic of clicking just about all of the “Hobbies” and “Interests” check boxes. That way they your profile would cross the path of more singles. Your profile would automatically be sent to more singles as a “Possible Match for You.” So this is more of not really overtly lying. But certainly you are leaning towards perhaps a little too favorably positioning yourself.

Rather than checking off simply every single hobby in the profile form, which would actually make your profile look more generic, strive to represent yourself and who you are a bit more accurately. That way you will attract Prospective Dates who are attracted to the person you are. You want to avoid the sea of sameness in all the “likes to hike, likes to walk on beaches at sunset” generic dating profiles.

Do put your best foot forward and avoid overtly lying in your dating profile. You increase your chances of finding lasting love online when you do.

Online Dating Expert and Professional Internet Dating Profile Writer helps empower single men and women to find lasting love. Combining her fun humor with a compassionate approach, Online Dating Coach and Dating Expert, April Braswell leads singles classes and workshop in the LA area of Southern California. Enjoy tons of free dating advice and tips articles plus services and products to help boomer singles looking to find love this year at her website and top dating blog.

Don’t miss out. Be sure to grab your FREE copy of 10 Secrets to Get a Boyfriend or Girlfriend Fast go to now: www.AprilBraswell.com

Copyright April Braswell. All Rights Reserved.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/April_Braswell/63637

 

Internet Dating With Integrity: Are You Guilty of Lying in Your Singles Website Dating Profile?

Now that we are fully in the Facebook Age and the Internet Dating Matchmaking Industry is a mature business well out of the early start up stage of the early days of cyberspace and web dating, a whole host of issues now face singles seeking love online.

Integrity in Dating can cover anything from the topics of not overtly lying in your profile in such areas as your age. But Integrity in Dating also includes actively and concertedly misleading other singles looking for love and reading your dating profile.

Now mind you, I have a corporate professional background in Sales and Marketing from San Francisco and Silicon Valley, the land that brought us HP, Steve Jobs, Apple, and The Woz. This is the land which coined the phrase, “Vaperware,” for the software that SV Sales People would sell to corporate businesses before the software engineers had even designed and developed it. So with that as the environment that spawned my professional formation, I’d like to say that I am fine about people taking a favorable view of themselves and extolling their virtues in your internet dating profile. I do not expect nor remotely recommend that you reveal your warts. I describe to singles attending my live singles seminars that your internet personals ads can portray you in your most favorable light. However I am specific that looking your best is one thing. Overtly lying is a whole other thing.

So what is lying and what is not lying? In this dating article today I’ll be covering more of the inadvertent miscommunication that results in your unintentionally being guilty of lying in your internet personals ad profile.

During the live dating workshops these sort of war stories from the trenches of computer dating in the 21st century.

  • What about the ones who say they are physically fit?
  • How active do you have to be for the singles who say they want someone who is active?
  • How active is active?
  • Oh right they work out 6 days a week? What are they, an Olympic Athlete?
  • Why do they put they like hiking but they don’t even own a pair of hiking boots?

A number of phrases have surfaced which you will see in contemporary internet personal ad profiles.

Active Lifestyle

  • Physically Fit
  • Young-Looking
  • Young-at-Heart
  • Energetic
  • Vitality

In the past, when singles wanted to communicate that they wanted someone who was slim, trim, and quite fit they would say things like, “Height weight proportional.” Now “Active Lifestyle” and “Physically Fit” are the catch phrases. So just bear that in mind when you read those phrases in another’s profile. And do be a bit careful when you consider using them in your own profile. Often it is the singles who are over 45, 50, and 55 years old who are striving to communicate that they are good looking and live an active and engaged life so that you know they are not couch potatoes living a sedentary life.

There really are quite a variety of ways to communicate that in your profile. What I recommend to singles to do is to actually talk about what they really do with their time, their evenings, their weekends.

Hiking:

OK, apparently every single out there online from the age of 19 -119 years old is a hiker who likes hiking. Who doesn’t like hiking? Many singles at the dating sites, they aren’t meaning it to be overtly lying. They really do think of themselves as liking hiking. But when was the last time you’ve been on any kind of a hiking trail? And what do you really mean by hiking?

Where I grew up in the Northeast hiking to us were outdoor nature walks in the woods. Think Herrontown Woods in Princeton Township, Mercer County, New Jersey. Hey, we simply didn’t even know or live near anything resembling a mountain or any serious elevation.

Then there are the hills of San Francisco, and the mountainous areas of Northern California and hiking trails with actual elevation, Angel Island, and “switchbacks” of the Los Altos Foothills Trails near Palo Alto on the San Francisco Peninsula.

There are differences. And it’s not that you were specifically meaning to mislead your Prospect Date. It’s just they are quite fit, hike for half day and full day hikes at an intermediate to advanced level and you were just wanting to get back to taking walks in nature this time with someone because you really do enjoy the outdoors.

These are the kind of things you can position in your dating profile by saying something like, “I used to really love walking in the woods trails where I grew up and want to get back to that. Do you enjoy hiking? I’m not a moutaineer, mind you, but a hike and lunch on a Saturday afternoon would be fun.”

Notice how you kind of set the parameter of expectations. You establish boundaries of the kind of hiker you are. Interested and enjoy it. Want to get back to it. Don’t expect me to be able to keep up with you quite yet for half day hikes or full weekend outdoors adventures. This way you both manage expectations and avoid overtly lying to your Prospective Date.

The Phenomena of Hiking in an Internet Dating Profile:

It’s a residual from the early days of online dating profiles was that the matching feature which feeds singles “Possible Matches for You” do so based on the database of who you are. All the characteristics, interests, hobbies, activities, and personal attributes which you clicked off in all the check boxes and pull down menus contribute to the data file of YOU. Those are stored in a database. Then the Internet Matchmaking Websites sort and filter the data to offer you potential matches based on your interests.

So from the early days of internet dating, singles learned the tactic of clicking just about all of the “Hobbies” and “Interests” check boxes. That way they your profile would cross the path of more singles. Your profile would automatically be sent to more singles as a “Possible Match for You.” So this is more of not really overtly lying. But certainly you are leaning towards perhaps a little too favorably positioning yourself.

Rather than checking off simply every single hobby in the profile form, which would actually make your profile look more generic, strive to represent yourself and who you are a bit more accurately. That way you will attract Prospective Dates who are attracted to the person you are. You want to avoid the sea of sameness in all the “likes to hike, likes to walk on beaches at sunset” generic dating profiles.

Do put your best foot forward and avoid overtly lying in your dating profile. You increase your chances of finding lasting love online when you do.

Online Dating Expert and Professional Internet Dating Profile Writer helps empower single men and women to find lasting love. Combining her fun humor with a compassionate approach, Online Dating Coach and Dating Expert, April Braswell leads singles classes and workshop in the LA area of Southern California. Enjoy tons of free dating advice and tips articles plus services and products to help boomer singles looking to find love this year at her website and top dating blog.

Don’t miss out. Be sure to grab your FREE copy of 10 Secrets to Get a Boyfriend or Girlfriend Fast go to now: www.AprilBraswell.com

Copyright April Braswell. All Rights Reserved.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/April_Braswell/63637

 

Internet Dating Advice for Singles: Avoid the Online Dating Faux Pas in “Happily Divorced” Episode

With millions of singles posting dating profiles at social networking and other singles sites to meet other relationship-minded singles, both men and women are watching the contemporary television sitcoms like TV Land’s “The Exes,” “Hot in Cleveland,” and “Happily Divorced,” to learn how to navigate the modern singles scene. While these TV shows are fun and entertaining to watch, be careful you don’t fall victim to unsafe dating habits from the “faux pas” in the online dating episode of “Happily Divorced.” Read on to learn what to avoid doing to keep yourself safe while dating online in the 21st century.

The fun new TV Land show featuring the star of the 1990s popular TV show, “The Nanny,” Fran Drescher, “Happily Divorced,” features a lot of the trials and tribulations of 21st century singles dating. This includes Online Dating both as a single woman and a single gay man wanting a romantic relationship.

In the recent “Happily Divorced” episode, “Someone Wants Me,” (Season 1, Episode 7) our romantic leads, Fran and Peter, both post profiles at internet dating sites. Fran tells the truth. Peter lies about his age in his profile. And quelle surprise, Peter then doesn’t get a lot of interest and replies to his profile because his lying is pretty obvious.

Fran, on the other hand, being a visually beautiful single woman who tells the truth in her dating profile, gets a lot of interest from single guys and goes on a number of first dates.

Here’s the problem.

In the TV show episode, “Happily Divorced” has her dates picking her up at her house and dropping her off at the door to her home.

Both of these are Internet Dating Faux Pas.

Well really, they are more than Faux Pas. These are Safety and Security Massive Mistakes.

When you are pursuing love online, do not give out your home address to a complete stranger you’ve met at an Internet Dating site or Social Networking site. Behave with safety and self-valuing caution.

Until you and your date are better acquainted, keep your personal contact information and location private. For each person, precisely how long that will take will vary. Some single women will comfortable sharing their home address for the man to pick them up for the next date at their house after just the first date. Other singles won’t feel that level of safety, security, and comfort until after 2 or 3 dates when a bit more personal background information has been shared and established.

There is no precise hard and fast rule to follow about When To give out home information. The only hard and fast rule about Home Address Information Sharing is certainly Do Not Share Your Home Address before the first date.

I mention these things in conjunction with the TV show, “Happily Divorced,” because there are a lot singles just re-entering the dating world again after a few years of being out the running.

Perhaps they were in a long term relationship for a few years.

Perhaps they are now Dating Again After Divorce.

And we all read books and watch TV shows and movies and glean current dating manners and expectations from those. Even though we know the TV show is not “real life,” still, our subconscious mind will often file that information away in the back of our mind sortah half thinking that what we saw on the TV show is OK and even socially expected of singles now. So it’s important for dating and relationship experts to point out the faulty message so you don’t believe that detail about what singles are doing now.

Your safety and security habits practice your appropriately valuing yourself and your life. You deserve to be treated well. Be sure that you’re the first to do so!

Online Dating Expert and Professional Internet Dating Profile Writer helps empower single men and women to find lasting love. Combining her fun humor with a compassionate approach, Online Dating Coach and Dating Expert, April Braswell leads singles classes and workshop in the LA area of Southern California. Enjoy tons of free dating advice and tips articles plus services and products to help boomer singles looking to find love this year at her website and top singles dating blog.

To grab your FREE copy of 10 Secrets to Get a Boyfriend or Girlfriend Fast go to now: www.AprilBraswell.com

Copyright April Braswell. All Rights Reserved.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/April_Braswell/63637

 

Online Dating Tips for Men

When online dating first came on the scene, it was taboo to discuss and if you ever met someone you would tell everyone you met them in some type of socially acceptable location. Today, it has become a prime location for meeting more girls than you ever could at a bar, club, or wherever your hunting ground may be. As with regular dating, it’s much easier for women than men. Women never have to initiate contact, never have to set up dates, and never have to really try. Hopefully these top online dating tips for men will make it as easy for you as it is for them.

Online Dating Tips for Men: Creating Your Web Presence

Use Online Dating as Practice: With so many women on sites like Match, OKCupid, and PlentyofFish, it wouldn’t make sense for any guy to not have a presence online. At the same time, you don’t want this to become your lone source for meeting girls. You want to use the experience to improve your dating skills – conversing, flirting, creating attraction and sexual energy, and escalating. The actual service itself, however, is only good for meeting girls in real life. You don’t want a pen pal so don’t spend a lot of time on the site. Try to get a date as quickly as possible.

Building an Attractive Profile: All of these services boast their fancy algorithms and tests that match you based on personality. Whoop dee do. Few people care about anything but the photos. Your photos are the most important part of your profile and should portray you in the most positive and attractive light. While men have a fairly basic 1-10 scale for rating female attractiveness, women have a different scale for guys. You don’t need to look like Brad Pitt to be an attractive man.

Your profile should a) show that you are a well groomed and well dressed guy, b) show you in fun situations, preferably with other people, c) show girls a sense of what it would be like to date you. In many cases, the setting and circumstances in a photo are more important than what you actually look like. And for the love of all that is holy, please no shots of your abs.

Building a Confident Profile: There is nothing sadder than a guy being self defacing or putting himself down in his own profile. This is where you need to present your absolute best self, not give women a reason to dismiss you. Never write anything that speaks negatively to your looks, personality, financial situation, or anything else. If a girl isn’t into you for one of those reasons, that’s her problem. You are here to meet girls, not give them a reason to move on to the next guy.

Online Dating Tips for Men: Getting The Girl

Avoiding Lame Responses: You are so much less likely to get a response if you send a message like “Ur cute, what’s up?” or “Yo you’re hot, lets hook up” than a real message. Avoid physical compliments, bring up a detail from their photos or profile and start flirting. It’s perfectly fine to poke fun at them or inject some sexual humor or innuendo.

Once you are talking, take it offline by saying something like “I spend enough time online as it is, let’s talk over a drink” or at least move it off the website and start texting or talking on the phone. Different girls wait different amounts of time, you don’t need to get stuck on girls that want to wait forever to meet or may not want to meet at all.

Set Up Dates ASAP: First, chatting online is an incredibly lame experience, like we said, we aren’t looking for a pen pal. Second, the initial contact is when the attraction is strongest so you want to build off that momentum instead of letting her find a reason to not meet you based on some off handed message. Third, a lot of the girls on these sites, especially the free sites, don’t want to meet anyone so you don’t want to spend all that time trying to build attraction with a girl who never had any intentions of meeting you. Most importantly, dating and attraction is something that is completely different in person than online, make the experience as real as possible for both of you.

Texting and Phone Game: Usually when you ask a girl out you will exchange numbers. Some girls prefer to text or talk on the phone before they meet you. That’s fine, just remember that the goal is still to set the date up as quickly as possible and turn your online dating encounter into real dating.

First Date: An online first date is different from a real first date because it’s the first time you are actually meeting. It’s best to avoid high pressure dates like fancy dinners so go for something more low key. Some guys prefer to talk and get to know her, a simple drink or even a coffee date is fine for a first encounter. Some guys prefer to not have too much one-on-one pressure so taking her to a show, movie, or party may be the best way to go. Once you’ve met and built some comfort and hopefully attraction, you can move on in your usual way.

The Different Dating Sites

Not all dating sites are created equal and there are major differences between them. Let’s take a look at the biggest ones.

Match.com: This is a pay site which is both good and bad. You don’t need to spend money on online dating but consider this: the women on this site are paying to have Match.com help them find someone. They are actually investing in this meaning they are more serious about dating than a girl on a free site who may have made a profile on a whim or just to boost that ego.

OKCupid: As far as free dating sites go, OKCupid is definitely a great one. This site tends to have a younger demographic with many girls in college or recently graduated. The scene also leans to the artsy side with a lot of aspiring designers, artists, musicians, writers, etc. This site seems to offer a higher response rate than others but also has a ton of girls that don’t have any real interest in dating.

PlentyofFish: A free site with tons of profiles and probably has the largest percentage of girls who are willing to meet up. Free sites are probably the best way to put these online First date tips for men into practice without any real investment except time.

EHarmony: A pay site that is more focused on matching you with a potential mate rather than just talking to a bunch of girls in hopes of having some fun. If you are looking for “the one” then this isn’t a bad option.

Chase Parker is an avid traveler, educator and writer on a variety of subjects. Watch his videos here

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Chase_L_Parker/1355258

 

Online Dating Advice for the First Date: Dating Success Means Don’t Be Fashionably Late for the Date

For singles seeking love online, is it OK to be running late when you two are meeting for that great First Date? Sophisticate singles are used to arriving “whenever” for potluck parties and cocktail parties at their friends’ houses. Is it the same social etiquette for the First Date? Why it’s not cool to be fashionably late for your date and how to avoid it. Read on to discover more.

First Date Dating Success Tip: Do Show Up On Time

With so many singles living in metropolitan areas, there is always the traffic and commute traffic variables. It is a running joke in Southern California in Los Angeles and Orange County that there is always an accident on the 405 freeway. Do be sure to know the route you will take to your date and leave plenty of time to get there. It is even better still to plan to arrive a few minutes early. You show the greatest respect, consideration, and honor to your date and yourself when you arrive early and are on-time for your date.

If you live in a metro area like New York or Los Angeles where evening parking can be a challenge, you know there will be valet parking. Yes, it will cost something. Phone the restaurant where you two will be meeting and find out what it costs. Do plan for that cost as part of the cost of the date. If you live in such an area, do use valet parking. Do not keep your date waiting 45 minutes searching for free parking thinking she will wait for you. When you do that, you are telling her, “I value your precious time less than the cost of a valet.” Yes, you will create a lasting first impression. It just won’t be the one you want.

It is the 21st century. Things happen. If worse comes to worse and there is a major traffic accident, you got each other’s cell phone numbers exchanged when you agreed and accepted this First Date, right? Well then phone your date. This is not the time to text. That looks wimpy to both men and women. Provide them some kind of an adjusted ETA.

It will then be your date’s decision to stay and meet you or to cancel that date. 99% of the time, if you are more than 15 minutes late for your date, your date will leave if you don’t phone and check with them. You will show up and he or she will be gone. If you phone now and ask your date to come back, you have totally disrupted the evening. This is not how to begin a romantic relationship. Avoid all that turmoil by simply planning ahead and giving yourself plenty of time. Better to arrive early and sit at the bar and have a drink of sparkling water for 20 minutes than to show up late.

When you show consideration, thoughtfulness and respect for yourself and your date by showing up a few minutes early and meet your date on time, you are guaranteed to enjoy a great first date! And so will your date, with you!

Los Angeles Internet Dating Expert and Professional Dating Profile Writer empowers single men and women to find relationship-minded singles for lasting love. Combining her fun humor with a compassionate approach, Online Dating Coach and Dating Expert, April Braswell leads singles classes and workshop in the LA area of Southern California. Enjoy tons of free dating advice and tips articles plus services and products to help singles looking to find love this year at her website and top Best Dating Blog.

Be sure to grab your FREE copy of 10 Secrets to Get a Boyfriend or Girlfriend Fast go to now: www.AprilBraswell.com

Copyright April Braswell. All Rights Reserved.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/April_Braswell/63637